I have been quick, astoundingly quick, to blame anything that goes wrong on Meagan from Drake and Josh. Just last week, I forgot to turn in an online Spanish assignment for the second time in a row. Maybe it was the fact that I went to happy hour and disregarded the importance of my academic life in light of the simple bliss of a vodka soda (with a dash of lime)– but, maybe, just maybe, it was (*squint eyes* *hiss*) Meagan. I choose to believe it was Meagan.
Brothers and Sisters, I invite you to also join me in blaming Meagan. There is no need for you to feel bad for what you previously thought were personal failings and bad luck.
Daddy issues? Meagan. Bad hair cut? Meagan. Donald Trump? Meagan. He didn’t text you back? Definitely Meagan.
She has gotten away with this for too long; we need to put blame where blame is due. We are not the reason why our lives are so f*cked up. We are not the reason for the job market. We are not the reason Zoey 101 was taken off the air. We are not the reason for Kanye West’s $53 million dollar debt. It was Meagan.